It had been days, yet it seemed like it was just only hours we met. I couldn’t stop reminiscing about it. The memories were so distinct, so clear. The bruises that riddled my body from my neck to my thighs and the soreness I felt all over were also constant reminders of the night before, and made it clear that I wasn’t going to forget it any time soon. I would try and be like my normal self, only to find myself wincing at the streaks of pain that shot through me when I made a wrong move. I only hoped no one else noticed.
… but I couldn’t lie and say that I didn’t like it.
What had I just done? What did I just let you do to me? What the fuck was I really thinking? To put myself and my friend who is like a little sister to me in harm’s way? How could I have let a complete stranger get into my head, seduce and coax me into placing my trust into him and follow him away? After all this time of fighting and keeping my word to myself, how could I break my own morals and put my purity on the line like that? God only knows what you could have done to me! I felt unclean and so disgusted with myself.
I wanted to blame it all on you, I tried to. It was you that seduced me. It was you that coaxed me into going against my own morals and vows that night. You were the one that did all those things to me. It was your fault that I lost myself in the moment. I wanted to put you at fault for all of it, but it just wasn’t possible. I honestly couldn’t blame you for anything. It was my free will that let me do it, that allowed me to let you continue. I could’ve stopped you. I could’ve ended it all before it even began, but I didn’t. Why?
Because in truth… I enjoyed it. All of it.
My mind told me what I had done was wrong, but my heart seemed empathetic, compassionate. It made me feel like I was beating myself up for nothing. It wasn’t a one-night-stand and I still had my purity. If anything, I could’ve been the one that seduced you instead. In my heart, and to others, I did nothing wrong, but the morals that had been branded into my mind still attacked my conscience. I couldn’t stop the questions. Was what I did wrong? Or was I just being too hard on myself? Should I have been as ashamed as I was? Or should I have been ashamed at all? It all left me lost and confused with myself.
Walking down the stairs and through the hall to gather my things was so bittersweet. I personally wasn’t in any rush, and wasn’t ready to leave. I wanted to stay for as long as you wanted me there, but again, I had no choice. You disappeared on me, and when I found, you were in another room and another bed, sleeping once again. I went over to you and tried to rouse you by calling your name again, but to no avail. So, I leaned down and kissed you gently, which seemed to wake you up almost instantly. I told you that I we were leaving and that I needed you to come and lock your door, grabbing your hand to help you out of the bed. You rose to your feet, straightened yourself up, and back down stairs we went.
You took my hand into yours and guided me to the door. It was still relatively dark in your home, but we were fully greeted by rays of sunlight when we opened your door. The morning seemed so budding for me, ventilating. When we made it out on your porch, you drew me into your arms one last time, with me wrapping my arms around your neck and you hugging my waist tightly, burying your face in my neck. Then you pulled back brought me into a kiss that was so passionate that breathing didn’t matter to me. You broke our lips apart after a few seconds and pressed your forehead against mine, and at that moment words didn’t need to be spoken. We connected through our touch and your tired eyes told me enough. We had a long ways to travel home and I could see you needed much more rest and time to sober up, so sharing one small last kiss, we finally managed to break away from one another’s embrace. You wished me a safe trip home and watched me walk to my car…. and just like that, it was over.
A knock of the door; cue that our time together had to come to an end. Raven was ready to go, but you weren’t ready to let me go. I saw that her presence and me being forced to leave made you irritable, so I had to become the peacemaker and asked her to wait downstairs for me. When we heard her walk away, you asked me if I really had to go. It wasn’t like I wanted to, but I knew I had to get her home, so I had no choice of the matter. Your pouting was adorable, and your final request before I left gave me a lovely chuckle, but of course, like the first time around, I was more than happy to oblige you once again.
I couldn’t tell you when I fell asleep or how long I had been that way. All I could remember was waking up next to you, curled up in a ball against you, freezing half to death. Although you were no longer snoring, you were still very much asleep, still very much peaceful and still very much gorgeous. I had no clue what time it was, and I couldn’t find anything in the darkness surrounding us. I looked up and out of the window through the opening and the sky gave me a clue of the time when I saw it was the darkest shade of navy blue — a sign that sunrise wasn’t far behind.
I was a bit hesitant; I didn’t want to wake you and disturb your peace, but I didn’t want to just leave you without saying a word so I had no choice. I called your name and shook you as gently as I could. When I finally roused you from your slumber, you looked at me and before I could even speak, you kissed me. When I informed you that I would have to go soon, I didn’t expect it to upset you the way it did. You seemed to pout, and became reluctant to let me leave, asking me to stay a little longer. I tried to explain myself, but your loosened embrace became tight again and you stopped my words in their tracks with your lips. I didn’t want to leave, nor want it to end. I just wanted to lay there a little longer with you. I wanted to spend the rest of the night with you so badly.
The alcohol in your system got the better of you after a while, and lead to you passing out next to me, with one of your arms laying across my stomach. So there we laid, underneath the only window in the room with no blinds or curtains to cover it. I remembered the trees that surrounded it seemed to have opened up just for me, and the moon and the stars were gathered together, perfectly aligned, shining through the window and down on us. It was such a beautiful sight, and I wished you were conscious to experience it with me. I looked back at you and brushed the hair that fell over your face. I wanted to study it a little more while I had the chance. You were just so gorgeous. The moonlight made your skin seem pale, but made your features more distinguished. You looked so peaceful, and your light snoring made me giggle, but having you next to me was comforting.
It was nice to have someone next to me again…
The thought of getting up and heading home for the night crossed my mind, and I started to scoot away, trying my best not to wake you… but then I felt you grab me. You took me by surprise and wrapped your arms around me, pulling me closer to you once again. Whether you did it instinctively or unconsciously, I’m not sure. Your rest your head above mine, and the solidity of your embrace made it clear to me that I wasn’t going anywhere… and I was okay with that.
Your lips and hands had snatched my words away from me every time I tried to speak to you. You would ask me questions and I could hardly even answer them without my breath being stolen from me. To form even the simplest of words and sentences was a challenge for me. I couldn’t hide anything from you. You knew what you were doing to me; you knew you were driving me crazy, and that your talents had warped my mind so much that it left me tongue-tied and weak-minded, unable to fully comprehend what was happening to me. You were dexterous indeed, but consciously rough, and in due time neither us could tell if my whimpers and cries were that of pain or pleasure.
You covered every part of me; wherever your lips didn’t touch, your hands did, and your hold on me kept me where you wanted me. I could help my writhing. You found so many of my spots with little to no problems, and it staggered me. I felt so in-tune with you. You made me feel so delicate and weak, but so virtuous and worthy; so sovereign, yet so submissive.
Hope you don\'t mind me sending this message? It\'s just me wanting to let you know about my clothing line which I run with my best friend. Tumblr is full of the people we aim to please so me picking a few people and leaving them a message wont hurt!
We are called Filthy Candy, based on a new-school style of tattoo t-shirts, we shall be bringing out shorts and american apparel hoodies by November. I rely on you guys to like our page and check out our stuff, so please take 5 mins to have a browse. We need your likes on facebook, currently we have nearly 5,000 and want to get 10,000 by the end of summer!
All of the Filthy Candy links can be found here...
I got a message from Dekky sometime back and I still love it! :3
HAHA, I may be buying a few items from you guys in a few days actually! I still have my eyes set on the “Turn the Tide” t-shirt & tote bag and the “Follow the Waves” t-shirt.
Really hope you make your summer goal as well!
Everybody should definitely go check out this line! It’s pretty awesome if I must say so myself. ^_^
The taste of champagne on your lips was so lovely. Your kisses were ravishing, captivating even, and with each passing second my guard diminished, but your words still had the greatest influence on me. I had given your lips my undivided attention, but you wanted to have me all to yourself, physically and mentally. So when you asked me to go along with you, took my hand into yours and guided me out, I followed you without resistance or questions asked. Our retreat to seclusion was hasty, but was long enough to make me anxious for what was coming next. It wasn’t long after you got me where you wanted that your hands and lips found their way back onto me. Your persistence had paid off; my broken barriers finally gave way, and I succumbed to you and your cajolery. My mind went blank. I wasn’t thinking about anything or anyone else in the world but you and that moment. You were direct, and weren’t afraid to tell me what you wanted… nor show me. That was when you made a request that made me giggle so much, but I was more than happy to oblige you and give you what you wanted…
Everyone is still freaking out about the new dash...
I saw it change in front of my eyes the other night/yesterday morning, so I freaked a little, but I actually kinda dig it. The only thing that bothers me is having to switch tabs to see new followers, messages and whatnot. Other than that, I find it quite refreshing. :)
Now all of you stop complaining and get over it! Change is good. :|
My plan had fallen apart piece by piece before me. My best efforts at keeping you at a distance had failed miserably. I shied away from your touch constantly, but it didn’t seem to hinder your persistence. You were determined to get to me. My guard had cracked when I allowed you to kiss me on the cheek. It was strange, but soft. I felt butterflies flutter around my stomach and after that, every obstacle I placed in your path, you found your way around them. I was only able to hold your advances off for so long before your hands found their way onto me and pulled me closer to you. You kissed my cheek again, then you kissed my neck. I couldn’t muster up the strength to push you away. My will grew weaker with every kiss you planted… then you brought your lips to mine.
The plan was so simple, but so well put together. It wasn’t anything big; we didn’t have time to go through every detail, but I expected it to be executed gracefully without any real obstructions. It was so easy to understand that I didn’t feel the need to even go over it a second time. It almost seemed perfect… almost.
Silly me… You saw the flaws before I could even catch them.
"September breeze.. you are a fire and I am a tree… I just wanna leave, but I’m feeling your steeze of burning me up so passionately… Tension between us is just getting stronger The flames getting hotter, the sex lasting longer And I’m not one to speak with poetry , but your body’s an ocean the waves are closing in on me…”
Just in case you’re unable to hear it on his Music page on Facebook.
To this day, I don’t know why I said yes to you. Maybe it was naviety, or out of rebellion. Maybe it was for the personal agenda I mocked up in my head for you. Maybe it was just my curiosity getting the best of me, or had something to do with the spell your words placed me under…
Or… Maybe was the fact I saw something in you, something that I had seen in very few men before you. Something that made me put my trust in you before even knowing you better. Something that made me want to step out of that comfort zone of mine. Something that made me so curious that I wanted to be more apart of it and wanted to get to know better before the night ended.
… at least, that’s what I would like to think it was.
I’m just trying to make sure it wasn’t simply out of sheer stupidity.